Dear KidsOutAndAbout readers,
When I was about four years old, I turned to my mother and asked, “Mommy, do you know what I’m thinking?” She said no, that no one can know what’s going on in someone else’s head unless they say it out loud. I was instantly relieved. “Good!” I said, emphatically.
This family story points to something we all figure out eventually: No one—not even those we love most—can
truly know us completely. That’s because our minds are crowded with thoughts, memories, emotions, and those little sparks of insight that are hard to pin down for ourselves, much less explain to someone else. So no matter what, we can only really share just a slice of who we are.
Some people might say that being selective about what parts of ourselves we show to different people means we're being fake, but I don't. Full transparency isn't even possible, so the goal is
sincerity. As long as what we share is true to who we are, we’re being honest. Selective, but sincere.
This is especially helpful to remember during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by lots of people, sometimes all at once. Some of them we love dearly. Others... less so. So when Aunt Viv is going on (again) about the zoning board, you don’t have to confess how bored you are. Just focus on what’s real—the part you truly mean—and say that. “So sorry that's getting in your
way, Aunt Viv. But I just have to say: Your pecan pie is amazing.”
So this holiday season, try to tune your radar to see the good stuff. Say out loud what you honestly appreciate. And take comfort, as four-year-old Deb once did, that no one can read the rest of what’s going on in your head.
—Debra Ross,
publisher
